Farewell to Tuke

It's been awhile since anyone posted anything to our family blog. So, I (that would be Ken) am taking it on myself to do just that.

On Saturday, May 27, 2009 at 2:45 pm, one of our family dogs, Tuke, passed away. In more crude terms, we had him put down. It wasn't that we didn't love that dog - indeed, we loved him as a family member. But, he was a biting risk. He was a bit aggressive and most people who had the pleasure of meeting him, hated him. Around us, he was actually fairly docile and very loving. He loved leaping up in our laps, playing fetch, and tormenting our other dog, Kennedy. But when other people came around, he would become much more intense and on occassion he would nip them. Whenever our niece, Megan, would come over, he would follow her around and never let her out of his ever watchful gaze. And that was the case with most people.

A few weeks ago, he had jumped up on the couch and Heather was scolding him telling him to get down. He did but he started to bare his teeth at her and growl. Whenever he has done that in the past, we have been quick to get him to back down and assert out "alpha-ness" over him. He usually responds to that and does back down. This time, however, he snapped at Heather's pointing finger and put a couple of deep lacerations towards the tip. We weren't sure if we were going to have to take Heather to the emergency room or not and get stitches and in the end, we decided to just clean it up as best we could and bandage it real tight.

Of course, there was an initial anger towards Tuke and he obviously felt bad about it because he was very submissive. But, the damage was done and all we could ask ourselves was "what if this had of been someone else's finger?" Over the next couple of days, we pondered on what to do. We asked a professional dog trainer and her recommendation was to put the dog down. We absolutely did not want to do that and my emotions said that would never happen. But, the practical part of me realized that would likely be the end result.

After a few more days of thinking it through, we decided that was our only real option. We considered professional dog training but the trainers we talked to said he was likely a "fear-biter" and that is something that is almost impossible to train out of a dog. I wanted to call the Dog Whisperer but that was like waiting for lightning to strike or winning a lottery - it wasn't likely to happen.

We made the appointment with the vet and the date was set: June 27 at 2:30 pm. In the days leading up, our emotions ran close to the surface. We planned a final picnic and final walks and final fetching sessions. I got to take him on his final walk the day before and we took a trip around Salem pond so he could sniff everything and try to leave his mark where ever he could. He enjoyed himself immensely (as he always did on his walks). That night he slept with Benjamin (he mostly slept with Ben for some reason).

Saturday we went on our picnic to Salem pond. He was very mellow. We BBQed some hamburgers which he enjoyed - he ate two and half of them. Jessica, Ben, and Nathan went for walks around the pond with him and he was wore out. The weight of 2:30 pm was upon us, though, and we were all starting to feel it. We relunctanly packed up and drove the veterinarian's clinic.

The drive over was hard. The tears were flowing freely by now. Tuke enjoyed sitting on my lap and putting his head out the window - like any dog would. Once in the clinic, he sniffed around and marked his territory along one of the corners of the room - it was a bit of humor in a humorless situation. We were eventually shown into a private room and there we waited. Everyone was in full sobs by that time. Heather took a picture with each of us holding Tuke. Tuke, of course, had no idea what was going on but he was enjoying the attention all the same.

Finally, the veterinarian came in. He was a very understanding person and explained the procedure and what the dog would feel and about how long it would take. It was to be a simple shot administered in a vein in his left front leg. It was a strong sedative that would initially put him to sleep but because it was so concentrated, it would eventually stop his heart. The entire procedure would only take a few minutes and would be painless for Tuke.

It had all come down to this moment. So much of me was screaming out that it wasn't right. All of the thoughts that I had previous started racing through my mind again - could we be more patient with him? Could we train the fear out of him? Should we try to find another home for him? Heather and I had been through these questions a bunch of times already and I knew the answers. The veterinarian put the needle up to his vein and pushed it in. As the sedative flowed in, Tuke almost immediately started to relax. Heather looked into his eyes and saw him recognize her for a few more moments but then he slipped into unconsciousness. Regardless of what I felt at that point, it was too late to do anything. The vet listened to his heart beat for a few minutes longer and then pronounced that he was dead. He and his assistant told us we could stay as long as we wanted and they would take care of his body for us afterwards.

Jessica and the boys had been petting him the whole time he was being put under. They had been crying but now it turned into a bit of hysteria. Nathan kept saying he needed to leave and Heather went outside and walked around with him. He almost passed out but was able to recover and come back in. Tuke was limp and the heat started to leave his body - he was truly gone. We stayed for a few moments longer and then slipped out the side door and left for home.

For myself, this has been very difficult. I loved that dog as much as the kids did. The difficult part, I believe, was knowing that we were responsible for that dog's life. Life is a very sacred and it was not an easy decision to make to take it. While we still believe that it was the right thing to do, it is a very ugly decision to have to make.

Projecting the loss out a bit - I cannot imagine loosing one of my kids or Heather. In life, I have been mostly lucky when it comes to loosing loved ones. When I was 8 years old, my uncle died in a construction accident. When I was 12, my Grandma Shepherd died of cancer while in her 50's. When I was in my early 30's, my Grandpa Meads died. All of these losses were difficult for me. But, all would pale to the death of my children or Heather. It really makes me grateful for the Gospel and the concept of forever families.

I will post pictures of Tuke shortly. I miss him. I want him to know that we loved him as much as a person can love a dog and it was not an easy decision to end his life. I hope that in heaven we get to see our pets once again. I would just about give anything to have him jump up on my lap again or place his head on my leg and look up at me with his amber eyes pleading for some attention. Because I would give it to him.

Farewell, Tuke. We loved you very much.

A Thanksgiving Post in mid-December:

Thanksgiving day began with a race which Ken and Jeff Meads put on as a fund raiser for the Boy Scouts.

This time everyone in our family EXCEPT Ken and Jeff ran (or walked).


Afterwards, we went back to cook during Cousin R&R, and eat a feast of a Thanksgiving dinner. That night newspaper ads came forth, and the next day, sisters-in-laws and nieces alike went shopping. It was a fun trip, but it had a drawback. We did not come home with leftovers and Ken wanted that leftover turkey to eat with leftover mashed potatoes and leftover . . . So we baked and cooked up another storm here in Utah:
All in all, I baked a few pies: strawberry peach (in Pahrump), pumpkin, key lime, and chocolate cream-- all from scratch!

"God Bless Us, Every One!"

Ben is currently in a fourth grade production of "The Christmas Carol."

He plays Charles Dickens who introduces the play and acts as a narrator before each scene. It is the part he wanted from the start, and landed by popular vote from what I've heard. Top billing as you can see, and he is doing great in the role!

Summer Cuff's Advice Followed ;-D

I forgot to take "before" photos. My hair was down the entire length of my back and had white hairs, as I have not gotten it cut or colored in over three years. Summer, you were right and I was an emotional fool! I had 7 inches, followed by another 3 or 5 inches cut off and my hair colored. IT IS SOOO MUCH EASIER TO WASH AND TAKE CARE OF!!! And I've had lots of complements too. So, thank you Summer for your little sister advice, and here's side shots of how "short" my colored hair is today! Love ya!

Benjamin's Utah County Fair

Every year the fifth-grade students present an American Heroes Wax Museum on the same day as the fourth-graders hold a Utah County Fair. All of the younger grades come by class and view the still-life figures or ask questions about the county displays. Parents are also invited the last half hour of the day to do the same. Here is Ben in front of his Duchesne County display.
When I asked him, he said that only four adults before me asked him questions and most of the younger grade students asked only a few questions. If it weren't for friends to talk to, he'd been board to death. Well, thank goodness for friends to talk to! Ben finished his report and found most of the images for the display while he was in "Pahrump, NV home school". He finished the display the night before it was due:-) He scored full points and is glad it's all behind him!

A week-long CA trip with Jessica's Debate Team:

Jessica and her fellow Salem Hills High School Debate Team members all went to California for a week to the 2008 David P. Damus Trojan Fall Championship Tournament held at the University of Southern California.

Jessica and her policy debate partner, Britney, did pretty well. It was both of their first tournament and I was glad to be along for the duration. Their very first debate was against two "spewing" [speed talking/reading] young men who had years of experience, several competitions behind them -including twice attending this exact USC tournament. Turns out that they were not supposed to be in the JV division at all. They were misfiled from the open policy division. Rotten luck for the girls. They were rattled a bit from the experience, and as most of you know by now, so was I. During a cross examination of the girls, the opposing team repeatedly fired off questions after allowing them to merely begin to answer the last question posed. Honestly, only a minimum of up to 4-5 words were allowed before the next question was asked. Well, I wasn't aware of the depths of my oun frustration at this bantering before I heard myself blirt out, "Please let her answer your question!" Needless to say, the room went stone quiet and the judge asked me if I could "refrain from interrupting the debate, or I shall ask you to leave!" I appologized and thereafter pretended I didn't exist in the room. The girls ended up losing because they dropped the opposing teams numerous (spewed) points of argument and did not provide enough counter arguements in the alloted 6 minutes of time.

We walked back to Jessica's team hang out and waited for the next round of policy debates to be posted on the pillar directly in front of us. Teammates who were arguing Lincoln Douglas style [individually] left for their rounds and then we noticed we were somewhat alone and asked when the next policy round would be posted. "The 2nd round began a full 20 minutes ago," came the reply. Their assigned room was clear across campus and there wouldn't be enough time to get there, so the officials said they would have to record it as a forfeited loss. Jessica went to lie down and Britney went for a walk to explode in anger at not being informed in time. (You see, there were 7 pillars and we were only looking at the NE side of the end pillar next to our group's area. They had posted the 2nd round on the other 6 pillars. We just didn't think to watch them.)

Shortly after that I needed to part with Jessica in order to walk across campus and down a neighboring street to do a bit of grocery shopping before our bus arrived. Jessica and Britney not only attended, but annialated the competition at their 3rd round of debates. It was great to end that day on such a positive high. The next day was even better! All in all, the girls won more than they lost, and Jessica considered the tournament a learning experience. She plans to return next year better prepared and all the wiser for going. The SHHS Debate Team did really well for themselves too! Dallin Jack took 2nd place overall in the L.D. Open finals, and Ryan Hiiat was awarded "Best Speaker Over All" for the L.D. Open Division. Their plaques and Dallin's silver plate are being put into the high school's display case in honor of their hard work. Not bad for a high school in its opening year! [There are other 1st place trophies there already, but I'll only brag about the ones Jessica's teammates earned.]

By 11:00 p.m. Saturday, we were all tuckered and ready for sleeping in Sunday morning. From the very begining of the trip, little sleep was there for the taking. We left Wednesday night at 10:00 p.m. and traveled by bus all night to Anaheim, CA. We arrived around noon the next day but could not check into the hotel until 2 p.m. The bus then took all interrested students to Newport Beach. I stayed behind to chaperone those who didn't go, and Jessica and Britney stayed to further organize their debate evidence cards into hanging file folders. No sleep for Jess or myself at that time. Every morning we had to get up early to be out to the bus early enough to make it to the tournament by 7 a.m. and we waould return to the hotel between 10 and 11 at night only to repeat. On Sunday, because I had stayed behind from the beach trip, I was able to be the chaperone to go with those students who wanted to go to church. [Only 3 stayed behind and Jim Stewart, the other traveling parent, chaperoned them.] Once "home from (1:00 p.m. Sacrament-only) church" we quickly changed and went on a sight seeing (stay-in-the-bus) trip around Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, etc.

We ended up at the Los Angeles L.D.S. Temple, and were sneaked in past the back gate because there were picketers along the front fencing down along the street. We had to stay quiet and out of their view or risk hearing their profain chantings. For me, at least, it was a 2nd in a lifetime experience. The last time I was there, it was 1978 (right, Mom?) and Amber, Shawn, and I were all in the nursery waiting for our turn to be sealed to our parents. No picket line could take away the peace I felt during this return visit. I also took a few shots with my remote. I hope you enjoy the pictures!

Monday morning we were off to Disneyland! We stayed until 10 p.m. and boarded the bus for an all night trip home, arriving at about noon again. Disneyland was a lot of fun! The haunted house has changed its theme, the submarine ride is still about finding Nemo, and the tree house is still leased out to Tarzan, but some things about the park will never change:the prices of everything stayed just as I'd remembered ;-! Any how it was an enjoyable trip except for the lack of sleep. I consider myself caught up for now with this blog; and speaking of sleep, I am going off to get some of it for myself. Love to all, and enjoy reading about our Meads Camp adventures!